{ Fernando Horta } → Racing Games

Race report: Magny-Cours Broadcast: Perazzini Triumphs While Horta’s Saleen Suffers Lap 13 Meltdown

Haaaaaaaave mercy! He crosses the line! Thirty-one laps of pure, flat French asphalt completed in twenty-nine minutes and eleven seconds! Pierguiseppe Perazzini wins Magny-Cours in the Megadrive Chrysler Viper! Now, rewind this tape. Let us look at the absolute tragedy.

Lap thirteen. Look at that smoke. That is the yellow Saleen S7-R of Fernando Horta. It is stopped. Dead. It is over for the USSR Lotus Team. Again. A short thirteen-lap campaign.

Clueless Co-commentator: Yes, Galvão, I think he stopped because he ran out of track, or perhaps his tires are made of French cheese. It is a very complex strategy to stop the car when the engine is on fire.

Galvão: Brilliant analysis. Truly. But first, a quick word from our sponsor: Are your valves clicking? Try Tabajara Engine Honey! It fills the gaps so your piston rings do not have to!

Now let us look at the Losel Racing pit garage, where guest crew chiefs are reacting to the Saleen collapse.

Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing): YES THEY DESERVED TO DNF AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL! I am talking about these French spark plugs! They are completely useless!

Flavor Flav (Losel Racing): YEAH BOYEEEEEE! Look at the giant clock! Horta only lasted thirteen laps! That is barely twelve minutes of run time! Time is up, Seleção!

Meanwhile, Boris Derichebourg brings the JMB Ferrari 550 home in second place, thirteen seconds behind the leader. Uruguayan legend Juliano Flores takes third, one lap down.

Clueless Co-commentator: Is Uruguay near Paris, Galvão?

Galvão: Shut up, Mauricio.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position	Class		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1	GT1		PIERGUISEPPE PERAZZINI	MEGADRIVE	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	31	0:29:11.177	0:54.240
2	GT1		BORIS DERICHEBOURG	JMB RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	31	+ 13.741	0:54.978
3	GT1		JULIANO FLORES	BITTEN HEROES RACING	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	30	+ 1 LAP	0:54.834
4	GT1		PATRICK PEARCE	LISTER RACING	LISTER STORM	30	+ 1 LAP	0:55.036
5	GT1		TOMAS SCHUBECK	MATECH RACING	FORD GT	30	+ 1 LAP	0:55.085
6	GT1		JOE NEMECHEK	FURNITURE ROW TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	30	+ 1 LAP	0:55.117
1	GT2		MARC LIEB	FREISINGER MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE GT3-RS	30	+ 1 LAP	0:56.815
2	GT2		CHRISTIAN PESCATORI	TEAM JOHN PLAYER SPECIAL	FERRARI 360 GTC	30	+ 1 LAP	0:57.297
3	GT2		BRIAN FRISSELLE	AIM AUTOSPORT	PORSCHE GT3-RSR	29	+ 2 LAPS	0:58.266
4	GT2		STEVE EARLE	PETER KUTEMANN	FERRARI 360 MODENA	29	+ 2 LAPS	0:58.405
1	G3		FRANK JONES	WILLIAMS LOTUS	LOTUS ELISE	27	+ 4 LAPS	1:01.061
7	GT1		FERNANDO HORTA	USSR LOTUS F1 TEAM	SALEEN S7-R	13	DNF	0:54.833

Related Images

Megadrive, Chrysler Viper Gts-r #3037, Driven By Pierguiseppe Perazzini

Lister Racing, Lister Storm #4014, Driven By Patrick Pearce

Freisinger Motorsport, Porsche Gt3-rs #3050, Driven By Marc Lieb

Team John Player Special, Ferrari 360 Gtc #4666, Driven By Christian Pescatori

Ussr Lotus F1 Team, Saleen S7-r #9001, Driven By Fernando Horta

Circuit De Nevers Magny-cours