Session 1227 - Circuit De Nevers Magny-cours, France

February 27, 2010 11:00pm

Race

Quick Stats

Track Length: 4.451 km
Most Distance Covered: 22 laps, 97.922 km
Simulator Used: GTR2

Race report: Magny-Cours Melodrama: Shakov Survives the Tears

*The lights in the Magny-Cours press room flicker dramatically, casting long, mournful shadows across the damp linoleum floor as a single violin plays a weeping minor chord from somewhere in the ceiling.*

Silvio Santos (SBT Melodrama Desk): MA OÊ! LOOK AT THIS DESPAIR! WE ARE WITNESSING A TRAGEDY GREATER THAN A MEXICAN SOAP OPERA TWIST!

(Silvio Santos - SBT) Mr. Shakov, you survived twenty-two laps of sheer psychological torment to take overall victory in thirty-six minutes and thirty-one seconds, while our brave duudes wept openly in the garage—how do you justify such merciless triumph?

Shakov (#01 Saleen S7-R Winner): *sniffs loudly, clutching a tissue the size of a bedsheet* It is too much! The tyres, they cried to me in the high-speed chicane! When I crossed the line twenty-two laps ahead of Philipp Peter, I felt only empty echoes in my soul! My Saleen is fast, yes, but at what cost to humanity?!

(Marília Gabriela - GNT Deep Thoughts) Fernando Horta, languishing down in twentieth position in the #03 Williams Saleen twenty-one laps down, your car looked like a vessel carrying the entire weight of Latin American existential dread—was this a race or an elaborate cry for psychoanalysis?

Fernando Horta (#03 Williams Driver): *staring blankly into a cracked coffee mug* Marília, I didn't just race. I suffered. Every time I looked at the timing screen, I saw my hopes dissolving into French mist. Twenty-one laps of sheer agony. Even Rubens Barrichello couldn't handle it, parking his Ferrari after just four laps to go weep in his trailer.

Mechanic (#03 crew): Car three is burning oil and our souls are burning with regret! Cut the radio, cut it!

Fernando Horta (#03 crew): Just leave me in the gravel trap, guys. The croissants aren't even warm.

Mechanic (#03 crew): Negative, Fernando, we still have thirty seconds of dramatic tension left!

Ps. Liz was last seen trying to smuggle a Peugeot 205 out of the paddock inside her handbag.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position	Class	Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1	GT1	SHAKOV	USSR LOTUS F1 TEAM	SALEEN S7-R	22	0:36:31.556	1:37.565
2	GT1	PHILIPP PETER	JMB RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	22	+ 16.518	1:36.676
3	GT1	THOMAS BIAGI	BMS SCUDERIA ITALIA	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	22	+ 23.259	1:36.409
4	GT1	FRANZ KONRAD	KONRAD MOTORSPORT	SALEEN S7-R	22	+ 32.870	1:36.625
5	GT1	LILIAN BRYNER	CARE RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	22	+ 45.414	1:36.378
6	GT1	PEPLEPEP	PAUL BELMONDO RACING	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	22	+ 52.428	1:38.324
7	GT1	PEDRO CHAVES	GRAHAM NASH MOTORSPORT	SALEEN S7-R	22	+ 01:21.173	1:35.449
8	GT1	MIKE HEZEMANS	FORCE ONE FESTINA	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	22	+ 01:27.490	1:36.325
9	GT1	JAMIE CAMPBELL-WALTER	LISTER RACING	LISTER STORM	22	+ 01:29.187	1:37.337
10	GT1	BOBBY VERDON-ROE	CREATION AUTOSPORTIF	LISTER STORM	22	+ 01:36.809	1:36.809
11	GT1	BORIS DERICHEBOURG	JMB RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	22	+ 01:38.149	1:36.710
12	GT1	FABRIZIO GOLLIN	BMS SCUDERIA ITALIA	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	22	+ 01:41.982	1:36.694
13	GT1	PHILIPPE ALLIOT	FORCE ONE FESTINA	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	22	+ 01:42.964	1:36.706
14	GT1	ANDREA PICCINI	LISTER RACING	LISTER STORM	21	+ 1 LAP	1:36.256
15	GT1	JULIANO FLORES	SCUDERIA LIBRA	PORSCHE 911 GT2	21	+ 1 LAP	1:41.679
1	GT2	DANIEL HERRERO	DHRC	FERRARI 360 MODENA	21	+ 1 LAP	1:42.422
2	GT2	TOMAS ENGE	MENX	FERRARI 360 MODENA	21	+ 1 LAP	1:43.688
16	GT1	GEROLD RIED	PROTON COMPETITION	PORSCHE 911 GT2	21	+ 1 LAP	1:43.596
17	GT1	FERNANDO HORTA	WILLIAMS RACING	SALEEN S7-R	21	+ 1 LAP	1:44.630
3	GT2	KYLE LOVECRAFT	COKE RACING	FERRARI 360 MODENA	21	+ 1 LAP	1:44.713
4	GT2	NIKOLAJ FOMENKO	RWS MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE GT3-RS	21	+ 1 LAP	1:44.558
5	GT2	GODFREY JONES	TEAM EUROTECH	PORSCHE GT3-RS	20	+ 2 LAPS	1:45.409
6	GT2	ANDRZEJ DZIURKA	TEXACO	PORSCHE GT3-RS	20	+ 2 LAPS	1:44.025
7	GT2	MIKE JORDAN	TEAM EUROTECH	PORSCHE GT3-RS	20	+ 2 LAPS	1:44.818
8	GT2	MARC LIEB	FREISINGER MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE GT3-RS	20	+ 2 LAPS	1:44.379
9	GT2	EMMANUEL COLLARD	EMKA RACING	PORSCHE GT3-RS	20	DNF	1:44.047
10	GT2	JOHN SMITH	ENERGIZER RACING	FERRARI 360 MODENA	20	DNF	1:43.808
18	GT1	RUBENS BARRICHELLO	BRAWN GP	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	4	DNF	1:40.667