Session 702 - Circuit De Nevers Magny-cours, France
December 21, 2009 10:10am
Race
Quick Stats
- Track Length: 2.757 km
- Most Distance Covered: 7 laps, 19.299 km
- Simulator Used: GTR2
Race report: Magny-Cours Meltdown: Horta Wins As Radio Waves Burn
Fernando Horta drove his #01 USSR Lotus F1 Team Mosler MT900R to a seven-lap victory at Circuit de Nevers Magny-Cours in 0:07:22.740, holding off Laurence Tomlinson's TVR by nearly five seconds despite total cockpit pandemonium.
ToeJam (#27 crew): Yo Earl, man, look at this dude out front! Is he actually steering or just flailing around like a wet noodle?
Earl (#27 crew): Man, I don't know, but he's burning through rubber faster than my cousin's hoverboard on a hot sidewalk. Hey Horta, you awake in there?
Fernando Horta (Driver #01): Fellas, my tires are screaming, someone left a half-eaten sandwich in the footwell, and I think I'm seeing colors that haven't been invented yet!
ToeJam (#27 crew): See? Told you. Total amateur hour. Hey, watch out for that curb, dude, you're gonna spill my grape soda!
Barry “Brake-Bias” Blunder (The Daily Chicane): Horta, how do you manage to look so utterly clueless while accidentally winning by four seconds?
Fernando Horta: Honestly, I just closed my eyes and thought about cold beer. Apparently, it's an aerodynamic advantage.
Luigi “Apex” Rossi (Gazzetta dello Skidmark): Caspita! Did you bribe the timekeepers or did the Mosler just drive itself?
Fernando Horta: Yes.
Ps. Lost and found in the paddock: one left driving glove stained with mustard, a suspicious copy of a 1997 Sega Saturn game, and Laurence Tomlinson's missing sense of humor. Claim them at the timing tower before Earl eats them.
Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Classification
| Position | Class | Driver | Team | Car | Laps | Gap | Best Lap | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | G2 |  | FERNANDO HORTA | USSR LOTUS F1 TEAM | MOSLER MT900R | 7 | 0:07:22.740 | 1:00.125 |
| 1 | G3 |  | LAURENCE TOMLINSON | TEAM LNT | TVR T400R | 7 | + 04.490 | 1:01.481 |
| 2 | G3 |  | MARK WILKINS | JASS PINOW RACING | GILLET VERTIGO STREIFF | 7 | + 04.954 | 1:01.257 |
| 3 | G3 | | IAN JAMES | MICHAEL SHANK RACING | MOSLER MT900R | 7 | + 05.662 | 1:01.113 |
| 4 | G3 | CHRIS RUFUS | REDBULL RACING | TVR T400R | 7 | + 07.845 | 1:01.447 | |
| 2 | G2 |  | THIERRY PERRIER | PERSPECTIVE RACING | MOSLER MT900R | 7 | + 08.269 | 1:01.398 |
| 5 | G3 |  | LUCAS LUHR | V-TECH MOTORSPORT | PORSCHE 911 BITURBO | 7 | + 20.573 | 0:58.890 |
| 6 | G3 |  | JULIANO FLORES | SCUDERIA LIBRA | GILLET VERTIGO STREIFF | 7 | + 22.583 | 1:01.687 |
| 7 | G3 |  | COLIN BRAUN | TRACY KROHN RACING | GILLET VERTIGO STREIFF | 7 | + 26.269 | 1:02.320 |
| 8 | G3 | | PATRICK CARPENTIER | JASS PINOW RACING | GILLET VERTIGO STREIFF | 7 | + 31.819 | 1:02.301 |
Related Images
Circuit De Nevers Magny-cours