{ Fernando Horta } → Racing Games

Race report: Combe Backwards: Jolicoeur Wins as Horta Stages a 32-to-15 Recovery at Castle Combe

Castle Combe, Wiltshire. After previously treating this picturesque little airfield circuit like his personal yellow playground, Fernando Horta decided to mix things up today by starting from absolute last on the grid (32nd) in the Chevrolet Corvette C6-R GT2. Because starting near the front is for cowards, or people who enjoy clean air. Neither of which interested our brave duude today.

What the numbers say

Ian Jolicoeur won the four-lap dash in his Rahal Letterman Racing BMW E92 M3 GTR, crossing the line in 4:28.310. But he didn't have it easy: Tracy Nolte's AF Corse Ferrari F430 GT2 hounded him all the way to the flag, finishing just 0.520 seconds behind in second place. Talk about a nail-biter that was over before you could finish your tea.

Pole-sitter Kenny Mervin (Team Falken Tire Porsche 996 GT3-RSR — wait, the data says 997 GT3-RSR, let's not anger the Stuttgart purists) had to settle for the final step of the podium, 6.303 seconds adrift of the winner. Kurtis Chandler's BMW Z4 GT3 rounded out the top four, just ahead of Simon Goodwin's Aston Martin.

Now, let's talk about the speed demons. Tracy Nolte slammed in the fastest lap of the race at 1:04.255. Right behind him on raw pace? Johnny Lugnuts, who managed a scorching 1:04.281 in the JMB Racing Ferrari — which is deeply impressive given that Lugnuts started 26th and brought the car home 32nd, proving once again that qualifying is merely a suggestion.

And what of our hero? Horta dragged the yellow Corvette from 32nd on the grid up to 15th position in just four short laps, clocking a brisk 1:05.429 along the way. He passed seventeen cars in four laps. Either the rest of the field was parked having a picnic or the Radial Leste traffic jam had relocated to Wiltshire.

Quotes

Fernando Horta (Corvette Racing, 15th): Starting 32nd is a great way to test your mirrors and your blood pressure. I spent the entire race dodging everything from Panozes to ambition. By lap three I was overtaking cars I didn't even know were entered. The car felt great, but four laps is barely enough time to say hello to everyone you're lapping or being lapped by. Next time I'm starting 1st just so I can remember what the front looks like.

Ian Jolicoeur (Rahal Letterman Racing, winner): P1! I held off a Ferrari for four whole laps! Tracy was so big in my mirrors I thought he was trying to climb into the passenger seat. My tires are crying, my hands are shaking, and I need a lie-down.

Tracy Nolte (AF Corse, 2nd): Fastest lap, half a second off the win, and I still have to look at Jolicoeur's rear bumper on the trophy photo. Next time I'm cutting the chicane. Or just braking later. Probably braking later.

Johnny Lugnuts (JMB Racing, 32nd): Look, I had pace, alright? A 1:04.2 is nothing to sneeze at. Where did I finish? Oh. Well, traffic is a tricky thing when you start 26th and decide to test every gravel trap on the perimeter road.

The council investigates

The Super Mario World MotorSport Offline Solo Sessions Castle Combe Backwards-Grid Duude Foundation (SMWMSOSSCCBGDF) has looked at the timing screens through half-closed eyes and issued these binding decrees:

• Motion 20170622/01: the grid anomaly. The council notes that Fernando Horta somehow ended up starting 32nd in a 32-car field despite setting competitive times all week. Suspecting Vesuvan Doppelganger sabotage or a clerical error involving a very confused clipboard, the council orders all grid sheets to be filed under 'miscellaneous funny business'.
• Motion 20170622/02: Johnny Lugnuts. Setting the second-fastest lap of the entire race while finishing dead last in 32nd is an achievement that defies logic, physics, and basic common sense. The council hereby awards Lugnuts a commemorative shiny rock.

No further thoughts will be given on this matter, and the ElderCouncil will now return to their afternoon nap. *snore*

So what now?

A frantic four-lap sprint, a BMW taking the spoils by a hair, and Horta carving through the pack like a hot knife through dodgy British butter. The saga at Castle Combe concludes with timing monitors full of numbers and more questions than answers.

Next time, the saga continues…

Ps. Dave, if you're reading this from whichever beach or witness protection program you're hiding in: even Johnny Lugnuts found his way to the track today. What's your excuse?

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Grid	Best Lap
1		IAN JOLICOEUR	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	4	0:04:28.310	2	1:05.340
2		TRACY NOLTE	AF CORSE	FERRARI F430 GT2	4	+ 00.520	3	1:04.255
3		KENNY MERVIN	TEAM FALKEN TIRE	PORSCHE 997 GT3-RSR	4	+ 06.303	1	1:06.508
4		KURTIS CHANDLER	SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT	BMW Z4 GT3	4	+ 07.817	4	1:07.001
5		SIMON GOODWIN	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	4	+ 08.182	5	1:06.540
6		EIRAN PARSONS	KISSLING MOTORSPORT	CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3	4	+ 09.385	7	1:07.176
7		DREW LIDKEA	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	4	+ 09.925	6	1:07.044
8		VLADO KENATS	MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT	PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM	4	+ 10.282	8	1:06.806
9		BJÖRN HEHMANN	GRAVITY RACING	MOSLER MT900R	4	+ 11.667	10	1:07.002
10		DAVID POEL	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	4	+ 12.992	13	1:06.952
11		ERIC MARECKI	PHOENIX RACING	AUDI R8 GT3 LMS	4	+ 13.302	11	1:06.774
12		MARTY UREN	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	4	+ 14.545	15	1:07.460
13		JON WATHEN	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	4	+ 16.657	9	1:07.741
14		GREGORY MYERS	KISSLING MOTORSPORT	CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3	4	+ 16.945	12	1:07.739
15		FERNANDO HORTA	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	4	+ 17.290	32	1:05.429
16		DANIEL WESTLAKE	PHOENIX RACING	AUDI R8 GT3 LMS	4	+ 17.388	14	1:07.593
17		SAM ROLFE	HHF HYBRID RACING	GUMPERT APOLLO	4	+ 18.027	16	1:07.849
18		MARTIN CHEVRIER	MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT	PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM	4	+ 18.468	17	1:07.887
19		SOL LEUNG	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	4	+ 19.321	18	1:07.742
20		VINCENT LOI	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	4	+ 19.529	22	1:07.630
21		ROY SIMMONS	ROCKETSPORTS RACING	JAGUAR XKR GT	4	+ 21.977	20	1:06.809
22		CHRIS DURAND	GRAVITY RACING	MOSLER MT900R	4	+ 23.063	19	1:07.148
23		CHUCK CARTER	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	4	+ 23.651	21	1:06.550
24		THIAGO CANOLA	FLYING LIZARD MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE 996 GT3-RSR	4	+ 23.973	25	1:06.609
25		JARROD KEEN	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	4	+ 24.083	23	1:06.977
26		BRAD MERYS	CHAMBERLAIN MOTORSPORT	TVR T400R	4	+ 24.541	27	1:07.584
27		ROBERT OTTO	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	4	+ 24.932	29	1:07.375
28		CHRIS MOSES	BMW MOTORSPORT	BMW E46 M3 GTR	4	+ 25.261	28	1:07.207
29		BRUNO SAID	FLYING LIZARD MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE 996 GT3-RSR	4	+ 25.836	24	1:06.375
30		RICH HROMIN	MATECH MUSTANG RACING	FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT	4	+ 26.455	31	1:06.618
31		DAVID CANAVAN	SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT	BMW Z4 GT3	4	+ 27.232	30	1:06.675
32		JOHNNY LUGNUTS	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	4	+ 32.818	26	1:04.281

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Related Images

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10092, Driven By Ian Jolicoeur

Af Corse, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #9051, Driven By Tracy Nolte

Team Falken Tire, Porsche 997 Gt3-rsr #10054, Driven By Kenny Mervin

Schubert Motorsport, Bmw Z4 Gt3 #8104, Driven By Kurtis Chandler

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8090, Driven By Simon Goodwin

Kissling Motorsport, Chevrolet Corvette Zo6r Gt3 #8096, Driven By Eiran Parsons

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8091, Driven By Drew Lidkea

Multimatic Motorsport, Panoz Esperante Gtlm #6056, Driven By Vlado Kenats

Gravity Racing, Mosler Mt900r #7064, Driven By Björn Hehmann

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5095, Driven By David Poel

Phoenix Racing, Audi R8 Gt3 Lms #9099, Driven By Eric Marecki

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10093, Driven By Marty Uren

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5073, Driven By Jon Wathen

Kissling Motorsport, Chevrolet Corvette Zo6r Gt3 #8097, Driven By Gregory Myers

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10063, Driven By Fernando Horta

Phoenix Racing, Audi R8 Gt3 Lms #9098, Driven By Daniel Westlake

Hhf Hybrid Racing, Gumpert Apollo #8086, Driven By Sam Rolfe

Multimatic Motorsport, Panoz Esperante Gtlm #6057, Driven By Martin Chevrier

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10071, Driven By Sol Leung

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10070, Driven By Vincent Loi

Rocketsports Racing, Jaguar Xkr Gt #10088, Driven By Roy Simmons

Gravity Racing, Mosler Mt900r #7065, Driven By Chris Durand

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5072, Driven By Chuck Carter

Flying Lizard Motorsport, Porsche 996 Gt3-rsr #7084, Driven By Thiago Canola

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9107, Driven By Jarrod Keen

Chamberlain Motorsport, Tvr T400r #4074, Driven By Brad Merys

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9106, Driven By Robert Otto

Bmw Motorsport, Bmw E46 M3 Gtr #5052, Driven By Chris Moses

Flying Lizard Motorsport, Porsche 996 Gt3-rsr #7085, Driven By Bruno Said

Matech Mustang Racing, Ford Mustang Fr500-gt #8058, Driven By Rich Hromin

Schubert Motorsport, Bmw Z4 Gt3 #8105, Driven By David Canavan

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8079, Driven By Johnny Lugnuts

Castle Combe Circuit