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Race report: Three Laps at Castle Combe: Horta Dominates Again as the Field Chases Shadows

Castle Combe, Wiltshire. Some drivers like a nice endurance stint. Others prefer a sprint. Fernando Horta, however, seems to treat three-lap races like an invitation to see just how quickly he can disappear from the rest of the entry list. Today at the historic Castle Combe circuit, our brave duude strapped himself into the Chevrolet Corvette C6-R GT2, converted pole position into an immediate vanishing act, and left thirty-one other cars to sort out their existential dread in his rearview mirror.

What the numbers say

Fernando Horta took a comprehensive victory, crossing the line after 3 laps in a total time of 3:09.883. Vincent Loi brought his Reiter Engineering Lamborghini Gallardo home in second place, though 'home' is a relative term given he finished a staggering 15.153 seconds behind our winner. That is not a gap; that is a county border.

Christian Hamilton grabbed the final step of the podium in the sister Corvette, crossing 26.395 seconds adrift of Horta, just a hair ahead of Sol Leung's Lamborghini. Further down the order, the midfield was a frantic, bumper-to-bumper car park of GT2 and GT3 machinery, all completing their three tours with admirable persistence if questionable closing speeds.

Now, let us examine the sheer absurdity of the stopwatch. Horta punched in a fastest lap of 1:00.013 right out of the box. Ian Jolicoeur, flying the flag for Rahal Letterman Racing in his BMW M3 GTR, managed a respectable 1:05.924, while the rest of the top runners hovered in the 1:06s. Let that sink in: Horta was nearly six seconds faster per lap than his closest pursuers on pace alone. If he had stopped for a quick cup of tea and a scone on lap two, he still might have made the top ten.

As for how the lead changed hands from pole: we cannot tell you, primarily because a three-lap race does not leave much room for a tactical chess match when the pole-sitter evaporates at the lights. The timing screen was clearly being used as a coaster by lap two.

Quotes

Fernando Horta (Corvette Racing, winner): Three laps? Is this a race or a warm-up lap? I barely had time to check my oil pressure before I saw the checkered flag waving at me. The car felt sublime, a proper rocket ship. I saw a 1:00.0 on the dash and thought the telemetry was hallucinating. Hand over the trophy and let's go find some biscuits.

Vincent Loi (Reiter Engineering, 2nd): Second place feels like a minor victory when the guy in front of you is driving in a different time zone. I spent the entire race staring at a yellow blur that occasionally resembled a Chevy. My tires are cold, my brakes are bored, and I want a refund on my entry fee.

Christian Hamilton (Corvette Racing, 3rd): A podium! Third place in the exact same car as Fernando! Though admittedly, watching him disappear into the horizon from sixth on the grid was a humbling experience. I think he took a shortcut through someone's back garden.

Ian Jolicoeur (Rahal Letterman Racing, 5th): Fifth place in a Bimmer against a swarm of Corvettes and Lambos. I tried my best, but trying to catch a Corvette on an airfield circuit with three laps is like trying to catch a falling star with a butterfly net.

The council investigates

The Super Mario World MotorSport Offline Solo Sessions Castle Combe Tri-Lap Duude Foundation (SMWMSOSSCC TLDF) has reviewed the timing sheets while sipping lukewarm espresso and issued the following binding decrees:

• Motion 20170622/03: the vanishing act. The council notes that a three-lap race is legally insufficient to determine who is actually fastest, because the leader finishes before anyone else has shifted into third gear. Future events must include at least ten more laps or mandatory pit stops to eat a sandwich.
• Motion 20170622/04: Mike Scott's clone. The council is deeply disturbed to find two entries for Mike Scott on the timing monitor (positions 18 and 20, both in the Sun-Red Racing SR21). Suspecting Vesuvan Doppelganger duplication magic or a severe database glitch, the council has ordered an immediate audit of the paddock cloning vats.

No further thoughts will be given on this matter, and the ElderCouncil will now return to their uninterrupted slumber. *snore*

So what now?

Another day at Castle Combe, another masterclass in yellow-car aerodynamics by our brave duude. The timing monitors are full of numbers, the podium has been claimed, and the paddock is left wondering if anyone can find six seconds of pace in their back pocket before the next round.

Next time, the saga continues…

Ps. Dave, seriously, where are you? Even in a three-lap sprint, we could have used a backmarker to lap twice! Come back!

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Grid	Best Lap
1		FERNANDO HORTA	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	3	0:03:09.883	1	1:00.013
2		VINCENT LOI	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	3	+ 15.153	4	1:06.047
3		CHRISTIAN HAMILTON	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	3	+ 16.395	6	1:06.259
4		SOL LEUNG	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	3	+ 16.720	2	1:06.302
5		IAN JOLICOEUR	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	3	+ 17.364	7	1:05.924
6		SAM ROLFE	HHF HYBRID RACING	GUMPERT APOLLO	3	+ 18.280	5	1:06.405
7		MARTIN CHEVRIER	MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT	PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM	3	+ 19.250	3	1:06.412
8		GREGORY MYERS	KISSLING MOTORSPORT	CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3	3	+ 20.659	9	1:06.523
9		MARTY UREN	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	3	+ 21.104	8	1:06.619
10		KURTIS CHANDLER	SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT	BMW Z4 GT3	3	+ 22.088	11	1:06.604
11		ERIC MARECKI	PHOENIX RACING	AUDI R8 GT3 LMS	3	+ 22.494	10	1:06.307
12		TRACY NOLTE	AF CORSE	FERRARI F430 GT2	3	+ 22.965	12	1:06.362
13		ANDREW WERNER	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	3	+ 25.122	13	1:07.097
14		DANIEL WESTLAKE	PHOENIX RACING	AUDI R8 GT3 LMS	3	+ 25.587	15	1:07.233
15		ROY SIMMONS	ROCKETSPORTS RACING	JAGUAR XKR GT	3	+ 25.852	16	1:06.880
16		DREW LIDKEA	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	3	+ 26.573	17	1:07.026
17		LOU MASCIARELLI	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	3	+ 27.050	14	1:06.900
18		MIKE SCOTT	SUN-RED RACING	SUNRED SR21	3	+ 28.406	19	1:06.783
19		CHUCK CARTER	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	3	+ 29.984	20	1:07.025
20		MIKE SCOTT (2)	SUN-RED RACING	SUNRED SR21	3	+ 30.469	22	1:07.113
21		SIMON GOODWIN	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	3	+ 31.309	21	1:07.114
22		CHRIS MOSES	BMW MOTORSPORT	BMW E46 M3 GTR	3	+ 31.797	26	1:07.194
23		TONY ATKINS	ROCKETSPORTS RACING	JAGUAR XKR GT	3	+ 33.206	24	1:06.888
24		JOHNNY LUGNUTS	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	3	+ 34.247	18	1:06.254
25		MITCH VAMOS	KRK RACING	VIPER COMPETITION COUPE	3	+ 35.209	27	1:06.322
26		DAVID POEL	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	3	+ 36.253	23	1:06.671
27		KENNY MERVIN	TEAM FALKEN TIRE	PORSCHE 997 GT3-RSR	3	+ 38.111	30	1:06.849
28		JON WATHEN	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	3	+ 38.493	25	1:06.594
29		ROBERT OTTO	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	3	+ 40.046	31	1:07.121
30		CHRIS DURAND	GRAVITY RACING	MOSLER MT900R	3	+ 40.590	32	1:07.287
31		JARROD KEEN	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	3	+ 41.402	28	1:07.168
32		BRAD MERYS	CHAMBERLAIN MOTORSPORT	TVR T400R	3	+ 41.834	29	1:06.983

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Related Images

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10063, Driven By Fernando Horta

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10070, Driven By Vincent Loi

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10062, Driven By Christian Hamilton

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10071, Driven By Sol Leung

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10092, Driven By Ian Jolicoeur

Hhf Hybrid Racing, Gumpert Apollo #8086, Driven By Sam Rolfe

Multimatic Motorsport, Panoz Esperante Gtlm #6057, Driven By Martin Chevrier

Kissling Motorsport, Chevrolet Corvette Zo6r Gt3 #8097, Driven By Gregory Myers

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10093, Driven By Marty Uren

Schubert Motorsport, Bmw Z4 Gt3 #8104, Driven By Kurtis Chandler

Phoenix Racing, Audi R8 Gt3 Lms #9099, Driven By Eric Marecki

Af Corse, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #9051, Driven By Tracy Nolte

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5094, Driven By Andrew Werner

Phoenix Racing, Audi R8 Gt3 Lms #9098, Driven By Daniel Westlake

Rocketsports Racing, Jaguar Xkr Gt #10088, Driven By Roy Simmons

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8091, Driven By Drew Lidkea

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8078, Driven By Lou Masciarelli

Sun-red Racing, Sunred Sr21 #7108, Driven By Mike Scott

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5072, Driven By Chuck Carter

Sun-red Racing, Sunred Sr21 #7108, Driven By Mike Scott (2)

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8090, Driven By Simon Goodwin

Bmw Motorsport, Bmw E46 M3 Gtr #5052, Driven By Chris Moses

Rocketsports Racing, Jaguar Xkr Gt #10089, Driven By Tony Atkins

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8079, Driven By Johnny Lugnuts

Krk Racing, Viper Competition Coupe #8066, Driven By Mitch Vamos

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5095, Driven By David Poel

Team Falken Tire, Porsche 997 Gt3-rsr #10054, Driven By Kenny Mervin

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5073, Driven By Jon Wathen

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9106, Driven By Robert Otto

Gravity Racing, Mosler Mt900r #7065, Driven By Chris Durand

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9107, Driven By Jarrod Keen

Chamberlain Motorsport, Tvr T400r #4074, Driven By Brad Merys

Castle Combe Circuit