{ Fernando Horta } → Racing Games

Race report: Melbourne Press Conference: Lackson and Flav Grill Horta Over 43-Second Disparity

*TICKER - DIÁRIO DO PNEU MURCHO:* AUSTRALIAN BORDER FORCE CONFIRMS REST OF GT2 GRID WAS NOT DETAINED, THEY WERE SIMPLY DRIVING IN SLOW MOTION.*

The Melbourne media centre was remarkably sterile, smelling faintly of damp Albert Park grass as the top finishers took their seats under the intense, unblinking glare of Losel Racing's management.

Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing Moderator): We are going to do this fast, we are going to do this clean, and nobody is going to ask any stupid questions about why the yellow Corvette was six seconds a lap faster than the laws of God and physics should allow. Proceed.

(Geraldo Speed - Gazeta de Pinhais): Fernando, you started eleventh on the grid and won by over forty-three seconds in just ten laps. Did you find a secret highway bypass through the Albert Park golf course?

Fernando Horta: No. To be honest, I thought the other cars had a serious mechanical problem. I actually turned their performance settings up to 102% of their capacity in the garage computer before the race, but on the track, it was like driving through heavy traffic on the Radial Leste. I spent most of the ten laps trying to avoid rear-ending them because they were braking where there were no corners.

Flavor Flav (Losel Racing Timekeeper): *Points to giant clock necklace* BOY, THAT IS AN UNBELIEVABLE GAP! FORTY-THREE POINT SIX SECONDS! THE TIME IS LATE, THE TRAIN IS GONE, YEAH BOY!

Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing Moderator): Flav, if you yell about that clock one more time in this press room, I will personally throw it into the lake. Let the reporter from the UK speak.

(Nigel Teatime - The Daily Apex): David Canavan, you started on pole position in the Schubert BMW. You had a clear track ahead of you. How did you end up finishing 43.6 seconds behind a driver who started eleventh?

David Canavan: I drove my absolute heart out, set a personal best of 2:00.323, and felt like a champion. Then the Corvette went past me on lap three. I didn't even hear the engine, just a low whistling noise, and then he was gone. By lap seven, I could only see him when I used binoculars on the back straight. It was a very humbling experience.

(Chuck McSnack - Motorsport Insider): Fernando, your best lap was a 1:54.648, while second-place finisher Canavan's best was a 2:00.323, and the rest of the thirty-car field was similarly grouped in the two-minute mark. How do you explain being six seconds faster per lap?

Fernando Horta: I can only assume my Corvette was fueled by very high-quality fuel, or perhaps the other teams were running on warm Guaraná. I just drove. But really, it was dangerous. They were moving very slowly.

Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing Moderator): That is enough of this nonsense. Go home. This conference is officially over.

Ps. Rodrigo, please check if the AI was set to 'easy' or if they were just admiring the local Australian birds. We need a real challenge next time.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Grid	Best Lap
1		FERNANDO HORTA	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	10	0:19:48.668	11	1:54.648
2		DAVID CANAVAN	SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT	BMW Z4 GT3	10	+ 43.649	1	2:00.323
3		RICH HROMIN	MATECH MUSTANG RACING	FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT	10	+ 43.989	2	2:00.288
4		JOHNNY LUGNUTS	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	10	+ 44.372	3	2:00.349
5		TONY ATKINS	ROCKETSPORTS RACING	JAGUAR XKR GT	10	+ 44.905	6	2:00.006
6		MITCH VAMOS	KRK RACING	VIPER COMPETITION COUPE	10	+ 50.419	7	2:00.676
7		GREGORY MYERS	KISSLING MOTORSPORT	CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3	10	+ 53.397	9	2:00.350
8		AL MARIMON	MATECH MUSTANG RACING	FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT	10	+ 55.003	4	2:01.101
9		BRAD MERYS	CHAMBERLAIN MOTORSPORT	TVR T400R	10	+ 55.939	5	2:00.521
10		VLADO KENATS	MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT	PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM	10	+ 56.163	17	1:59.439
11		ROBERT OTTO	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	10	+ 58.476	12	2:01.954
12		JON WATHEN	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	10	+ 59.180	8	2:01.192
13		ROY SIMMONS	ROCKETSPORTS RACING	JAGUAR XKR GT	10	+ 59.571	15	2:01.161
14		MARTIN CHEVRIER	MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT	PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM	10	+ 01:00.074	18	2:01.152
15		DREW LIDKEA	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	10	+ 01:00.904	16	2:01.309
16		SIMON GOODWIN	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	10	+ 01:01.389	19	2:01.176
17		BJÖRN HEHMANN	GRAVITY RACING	MOSLER MT900R	10	+ 01:02.422	10	2:00.543
18		ERIC MARECKI	PHOENIX RACING	AUDI R8 GT3 LMS	10	+ 01:04.637	24	2:00.574
19		IAN JOLICOEUR	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	10	+ 01:05.159	21	2:00.885
20		LOU MASCIARELLI	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	10	+ 01:05.972	14	2:00.976
21		CHUCK CARTER	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	10	+ 01:06.672	13	2:00.967
22		ANDREW WERNER	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	10	+ 01:08.002	22	2:01.265
23		VINCENT LOI	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	10	+ 01:08.273	25	2:00.824
24		GUP DOUGLAS	BMW MOTORSPORT	BMW E46 M3 GTR	10	+ 01:11.065	23	2:01.069
25		CHRIS MOSES	BMW MOTORSPORT	BMW E46 M3 GTR	10	+ 01:13.147	20	2:01.769
26		DAVID POEL	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	10	+ 01:13.561	27	2:01.593
27		MARTY UREN	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	10	+ 01:14.003	28	2:00.995
28		CHRISTIAN HAMILTON	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	10	+ 01:14.857	29	2:01.704
29		THIAGO CANOLA	FLYING LIZARD MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE 996 GT3-RSR	10	+ 01:15.508	30	2:01.741
30		JACK NEWTON	ERG MOTORSPORT	MARCOS LM600	10	+ 01:22.610	26	2:00.681

Related Images

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10063, Driven By Fernando Horta

Schubert Motorsport, Bmw Z4 Gt3 #8105, Driven By David Canavan

Matech Mustang Racing, Ford Mustang Fr500-gt #8058, Driven By Rich Hromin

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8079, Driven By Johnny Lugnuts

Rocketsports Racing, Jaguar Xkr Gt #10089, Driven By Tony Atkins

Krk Racing, Viper Competition Coupe #8066, Driven By Mitch Vamos

Kissling Motorsport, Chevrolet Corvette Zo6r Gt3 #8097, Driven By Gregory Myers

Matech Mustang Racing, Ford Mustang Fr500-gt #8059, Driven By Al Marimon

Chamberlain Motorsport, Tvr T400r #4074, Driven By Brad Merys

Multimatic Motorsport, Panoz Esperante Gtlm #6056, Driven By Vlado Kenats

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9106, Driven By Robert Otto

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5073, Driven By Jon Wathen

Rocketsports Racing, Jaguar Xkr Gt #10088, Driven By Roy Simmons

Multimatic Motorsport, Panoz Esperante Gtlm #6057, Driven By Martin Chevrier

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8091, Driven By Drew Lidkea

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8090, Driven By Simon Goodwin

Gravity Racing, Mosler Mt900r #7064, Driven By Björn Hehmann

Phoenix Racing, Audi R8 Gt3 Lms #9099, Driven By Eric Marecki

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10092, Driven By Ian Jolicoeur

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8078, Driven By Lou Masciarelli

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5072, Driven By Chuck Carter

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5094, Driven By Andrew Werner

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10070, Driven By Vincent Loi

Bmw Motorsport, Bmw E46 M3 Gtr #5053, Driven By Gup Douglas

Bmw Motorsport, Bmw E46 M3 Gtr #5052, Driven By Chris Moses

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5095, Driven By David Poel

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10093, Driven By Marty Uren

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10062, Driven By Christian Hamilton

Flying Lizard Motorsport, Porsche 996 Gt3-rsr #7084, Driven By Thiago Canola

Erg Motorsport, Marcos Lm600 #5077, Driven By Jack Newton

Melbourne Grand Prix Circuit