{ Fernando Horta } → Racing Games

Race report: Sebring FDTV Special: Juliano Slashes Gap to One Point as Horta Bounces at Sebring!

Fernando Horta (#01 Lotus F1 Team): "The concrete bumps on this runway destroyed my spine, my gearbox, and my dignity!"

HAJA CORAÇÃO, DUUDES! WELCOME TO FDTV! Look at the tension on the sun-baked concrete of Sebring International Raceway! Juliano Flores takes his Scuderia Libra Lotus Elise #29 to a MONSTROUS victory! Fifty seconds clear! FIFTY SECONDS, CASAGRANDE! Can you believe this sheer insanity?!

Co-Commentator (Clueless Casagrande): "Wait, Galvão, are they racing lightweight British sports cars or jet skis today? The green one looks very floaty."

IT IS A LOTUS ELISE, YOU DONKEY! AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR: Brahma Extra-Limiter Warm Beer — Smooth enough to make you forget your mandatory drive-through penalty!

Back to the track! Juliano completed all 10 laps in 24:05.806, slapping down a blistering fastest lap of 2:19.885. Horta limped home 50.6 seconds behind with a best of 2:21.442. Paddock rumors suggest Fernando stopped to stretch his back, but the raw timing screen does not lie! Horta still leads the championship with 66 points, but Juliano is breathing right down his neck with 65!

ToeJam (CTR Boss): "Yo Earl, that #01 Elise was bouncing around out there like a funky turnip on these concrete slabs!"

Earl (CTR Crew): "Big funkin' bumps, man! But hey, rubbin' the concrete is racin'!"

(Kent Komeu - The Punning Herald): Juliano, did you leave Fernando behind or did he pull over to buy Florida orange juice?

Juliano Flores: I just kept my head down and avoided the potholes that swallowed his lap times!

(Alan Connection - Wifi News): Fernando, was the 50-second gap caused by severe lag or driver error?

Fernando Horta: *grumbles* It was aerodynamic turbulence caused by toxic paddock gossip!

Ps. Correction: We previously stated Fernando trailed by 50 seconds; telemetric evidence proves it was actually an excruciating 50.607 seconds of pure suspension misery.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a online race. No events described on this text are to be taken seriously, and by no means reflect the author or their views, quotes or situations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap	Points
1		JULIANO FLORES	SCUDERIA LIBRA	LOTUS ELISE	10	0:24:05.806	2:19.885	12
2		FERNANDO HORTA	LOTUS F1 TEAM	LOTUS ELISE	10	+ 50.607	2:21.442	6

Driver Standings

Team Standings

Related Images

Scuderia Libra, Lotus Elise #3029, Driven By Juliano Flores

Lotus F1 Team, Lotus Elise #3001, Driven By Fernando Horta

Sebring International Raceway